Heroes and Heroines
Live Action Roleplaying
Source: Marius The Magnificent
Lady Foxglove, Lady Protector of the Protectorate.
Oh most Wise and Noble Lady Protector Foxglove,
Marius (the Magnificent, Slayer of Zombies) brings you this most true and accurate report into our successful diplomatic mission to <REDACTED>.
On your request Marius (along with <REDACTED>) proceeded with great speed and discretion to the meeting place agreed with the <REDACTED> where cake and diplomacy was promised to be provided, although before we left a junior acolyte from the Good Temple provided us with some much appreciated Bless protections to keep us safe (although it turned out to be some thinly disguised extortion attempt to raise money for the orphans. I mean if the kids need money their parents should work harder!)
Upon arrival we found that indeed all the promises and assurances given were met, with a safe zone where the <REDACTED> could not penetrate set up to welcome us, although we had to fight wave after wave of <REDACTED> to reach this safe zone first as the tree shift was, as always the case with the nature types, miles off our target.
We were one of the first delegations to arrive, over the course of the evening more and more <REDACTED> filtered in and an evening of light diploming took place over goblets of wine and canapes.
Present on the first evening were:
Banana – a representative from <REDACTED>.
The next day the representatives of <REDACTED> arrived, but the head of their delegation, <REDACTED>, had become separated from their group and was lost in the forest with the <REDACTED>. As he was the brother of the <REDACTED> it would be a major diplomatic incident should he remain lost, so we set out immediately after an extraordinarily large amount of faffing and procrastination.
We proceeded westward and encountered many <REDACTED> (both of which were slain in their dozens by Marius), <REDACTED> etc. By the end Marius’ staff was covered in their ichor (it’s okay, the staff was <REDACTED> from <REDACTED> and so Marius didn’t have to clean it off before returning it). As I am sure you expected from Marius, there was great success as we found the <REDACTED>'s brother and after reviving him with a quick healing spell we returned him safely to the meeting point behind the undead wards. On the way he informed us of how the <REDACTED> were taking slaves of the people of <REDACTED>. This sounds so unlike them, but I hope you, Lady Foxglove, will be sure to pass on the Protectorate’s disapproval of such activities, especially as the <REDACTED> delegate admitted they were offered by <REDACTED> a secret portal way in and out of the Burrow so that the <REDACTED> forces could not enter and take the cute little critters slaves.
Speaking of which, when we arrived it was to find that the representative of the <REDACTED> had arrived, <REDACTED>. Marius was invited to serve the representatives’ head guard tea and received an “it’s passible” mark for his efforts. Through such noble efforts at Diplomacy, we managed to keep the <REDACTED> and <REDACTED> delegates separated and as such there was no diplomatic scene caused.
As the <REDACTED>’s head of the guard was sipping his tea, we were told that some people who were not right in the head had fled from the safety of the circle and into the woods. Upon promises of monetary reward we followed them and, again after wave upon wave of undead tried to bar our path, we found them barricaded in a small stable, filthy and stinking beyond all belief and sensibility. To our surprise they were dressed in the robes of <REDACTED>, although the mystery of this was to be solved soon after. Taking pity upon them in their terrible suffering, the kind-hearted <REDACTED> sent them to a gentle sleep and carried them back to the barrier where they were taken back to a nice padded room where they could have a gentle lie down. I must say <REDACTED> is a lovely chap and a great credit to the good temple where I am certain such a noble and brave person must belong to.
After this it appeared that we had been joined by all the delegates, so the negotiations started in earnest. It was at this point we were joined by the beautiful (though not nearly as beautiful as you, or the beauty of the Protectorate Pip Squeak (who by the way is missing, do you think you could send some people to find her as Marius would be devastated…I mean it would be a great loss for the protectorate to lose her.)) <REDACTED>. Also at this stage the promised cakes were offered and Marius ensured that the Protectorate won the cake eating contest.
The issue of the end of <REDACTED> was raised and we set about diplomacing, with <REDACTED> and much cake devoured. Despite the <REDACTED> of <REDACTED>, some actual pertinent issues were discussed and no new wars broke out. With the <REDACTED> provided from the <REDACTED>, the <REDACTED> , and the <REDACTED> that was seized by <REDACTED>, as well as insights from many of the <REDACTED> delegation and others (especially <REDACTED> who shared <REDACTED> and <REDACTED> who told us of <REDACTED> to close <REDACTED>), and combined these with <REDACTED> to work out where many of the <REDACTED> could be, including one in <REDACTED>. Of these <REDACTED> it appears there are <REDACTED>, one is where the <REDACTED> are coming through <REDACTED>, etc. while the other is through <REDACTED>.
Finally we agreed that we could take <REDACTED>.
2. Send a <REDACTED>.
3. Search <REDACTED>.
Upon this all the delegates were determined and agreed and it is on this course of action we ask for your support, because we’ll look really silly in front of the other countries if you don’t back us up and Marius doesn’t want to have to explain to <REDACTED> why we aren’t holding up our part of the bargain because she’ll use that really sarcastic voice on Marius and say something like “Oh that’s a surprise.” And roll her eyes at him. Well, <REDACTED> at least. Did Marius mentioned how <REDACTED>, you’d think it would be a turn off, but it’s really quite hot…er…Marius means it makes <REDACTED> look mean and nasty like the cruel and evil sexy <REDACTED> <REDACTED> is.
After we had agreed this action <REDACTED> asked us to accompany her <REDACTED>, where she claimed <REDACTED>.
Upon this demonstration the <REDACTED> from the <REDACTED> let out a scream and cried “<REDACTED>, I don’t believe <REDACTED>” and using an item gave the finger (<REDACTED>) to the <REDACTED> that was <REDACTED>, which was suddenly free to wreak havoc and disaster while the <REDACTED> representative teleported immediately away.
At this act of violence the wards protecting us dropped and <REDACTED> poured in, a battle for our lives ensued while the <REDACTED> desperately tried to restart <REDACTED>. The <REDACTED> who attacked us were of immense power and <REDACTED> herself was rendered unconscious (we didn’t <REDACTED> her because we were diploming really well), <REDACTED> had his leg cut off, and even Marius himself lost his arm protecting <REDACTED>, or possibly it was <REDACTED>.
Despite being shorn of Marius’ aid in the battle the forces of the <REDACTED>, along with the <REDACTED>, managed to overcome the <REDACTED> long enough for the circle to be reraised and medical aid administered. Marius must admit the <REDACTED> chappie from <REDACTED> was most useful with his accelerated healing of both Marius’ arm and <REDACTED> leg (although <REDACTED> was still hopping mad about the whole affair).
We also discovered that the <REDACTED> representative may not have been who he appeared, in his bag was another <REDACTED> tabard, and also a badge from <REDACTED>. Was he <REDACTED>? Was he a spy from <REDACTED>? Was he from neither and simply wanted to throw us off the scent? We could not tell, but I’m sure it will give a seer or two something to do as they divine the secret.
Where there is one <REDACTED>, others are sure to follow, and sure enough other of these creatures approached, wave after wave of them. They were intelligent – of a sort – and communicated and spoke amongst themselves, revealing a crude level of organisation when they told one of their number to fetch the others “from the <REDACTED>”.
Knowing a <REDACTED> was nearby we knew we would need to destroy it lest a never-ending stream of these creatures would overwhelm us during the night (for by now darkness had fallen) so we gathered our forces and pushed onwards, a steady stream of <REDACTED> (and the occasional <REDACTED> swarm) falling before us. The red ones that wielded and were vulnerable only to magic and able to cast firebolts and ignite clothing at will, the green that wielded and were vulnerable only to power and could cast cause wounds, the brown ones that could be slain by physical prowess and would knockback attackers and shatter bones with their attacks, and others, their colour impossible to see in the darkness, that were vulnerable to all attacks but were of an immense puissance and could cast cause disease or cause mortal wounds at a whim.
Finally we reached the clearing, our plan to reach the portal and commune with it, but we had no chance, we would have been overrun if Marius hadn’t broken through the enemy lines and raced to the portal, pursued by many <REDACTED>, and these saw one of the <REDACTED> in their <REDACTED>. Marius burst through the circle and with a great flourish wrenched the <REDACTED> out, closing the portal and saving us all. Sadly no great prophesy or profound words ushered forth from the <REDACTED>, it was already dead so we picked it up and carried it back to the warded safe zone, although we did have a last gambit of <REDACTED> to run past to reach safety, for we were all exhausted in power, mana and strength.
Having made it <REDACTED> proceeded to cast a spell to allow him to commune with the passed spirit, and we discovered he named Jonas, married to Anna, and was from the Protectorate, from a town called Silverlake, where he had been drinking and then was accosted leaving the pub. He awoke in a cage on a cart heading somewhere and overheard his captors talking about the movements of goods and produce, he was then taken from the cage at an unknown location and there was pain and blackness. One thing he remembered was seeing a strange symbol of three pillars twisted together, before the next thing he was taking to us from beyond the veil.
At least now we know the symbol that these <REDACTED> sympathisers and <REDACTED> use, I am sure that the mistwalkers can discover their nest and a suitable group can exterminate them.
After this, exhausted and battered we settled down for an evenings rest and awoke refreshed and eager to be heading home, but then came an opportunity we couldn’t pass up. Reports had arrived of a clearing where <REDACTED> had been seen preparing to set up a new <REDACTED> – this was our chance to catch them in the act and maybe capture a few to take with us for questioning. <REDACTED> was very keen to ask them some questions, so I guess he’ll be busy right now asking them nicely by buttering them up over a nice cake and cup of tea.
We proceeded immediately outwards while the <REDACTED> forces drove the local <REDACTED> away with loud noise makers. Again wave upon wave of <REDACTED> blocked our progress, as did the odd group of <REDACTED> who had remained. The path grew narrow and going was difficult, combat swirled and Marius found himself face to face – alone after his companions fled – with a <REDACTED>. A deadly dance ensued, blow after blow traded and the creature narrowly missed killing Marius a dozen times while Marius rained his staff down upon the unholy being until at last Marius was backed to the edge of a cliff, with desperation Marius felt his leg slip over the edge and with desperation he grabbed onto the <REDACTED> and pulled it down with him, Marius luckily landing on a ledge just below the cliff, unharmed in a puddle of mud, while the <REDACTED> disappeared down, down, down until it perished at the bottom.
Rejoining his companions, Marius and the group pushed onwards and finally discovered the vipers’ nest, a deathly and horrific wailing alerting us before we could see them, a line of <REDACTED> with shields locked, archers at the ready, looking more deadly and ferocious than any evil doer that Marius has encountered before. We advanced upon their shield wall, Marius shattering the archers bow with his mighty spells before we crashed upon their ranks. Push and shove ensued as we sought to break through, an epic battle that the bards shall sing about for centuries to come (unless we all get <REDACTED>, then they’ll be singing more like “Arg, eeek, aaaah, make the pain stop, Ngggghhhh, ouch.”) Finally <REDACTED> was able to get around the side of them and launched into their rear, sewing confusion and discord amongst them and as their defence crumbled we picked them off and stood, exhausted and victorious, a battle unlike any we had faced so far against an organised, determined and very worthy opponent.
But there was no sign of the portal, was this the main group? As we wondered another band of <REDACTED> shambled onto the scene, led by an immense <REDACTED>. In answer to your question, do not hit these with power embued weapons! But joy, we finally destroyed the creature and his minions before advancing towards where we could now see a foul ritual taking place.
Seeing us arrive the cultists scrambled to form a defensive line, in a narrow part of the path. The closed together, tightly packed as we came closer. Then <REDACTED> stepped out, slung his <REDACTED> and looked each <REDACTED> in the <REDACTED> before the moment that shall live with all of us forever.
He <REDACTED> at the <REDACTED> blocking the way and <REDACTED>…”Mass Terror!”
The wall broke and we streamed in, laying waste to all around us. Marius himself came upon the priest <REDACTED>, and with a swing of his staff the ritual was disrupted and the priest slain.
In the remaining chaos <REDACTED>, but at that stage it was a <REDACTED>, and <REDACTED> were taken, especially the <REDACTED> herself who <REDACTED> to be a <REDACTED>. Naturally she is in the tender merciful care of <REDACTED> who I am sure is looking after her.
With that we returned to the safe house, packed out things, pocketed <REDACTED>, and returned quietly and discreetly as we had left.
And there Marius brings his report to a close, in a most diplomatic manner we did not loot any of the bodies of the <REDACTED>we met, just saying…
Yours, most loyally,
Marius the Magnificent, slayer of Zombies (oh so many Zombies).